Emo Philips

No, I don't know him, and I haven't frolicked with him at a live show, unlike iron_chef_gein, as he hints in his journal. I never could really get into him much. Although I do like Judy Tenuta, his once-upon-a-time SR.

Anyway. What I'm getting at is that, a week ago now, I took myself and my head of long (mostly) dark hair to Great Clips, where I had 10 inches cut off and donated to Locks of Love. At Great Clips, if you donate your hair, you get a free blunt cut.

So I now have hair that just does touch my shoulders. It's filthy and sweaty right now, so no pictures until I have a chance to shower, but imagine hair just a tad longer than Emo's.

Yes, I have an Emo Philips haircut. I can't wait for it to grow out some. But I will bear this with quiet dignity, because I gave my hair to some little kid who's lost theirs to cancer. So if you have long hair, and can spare at least 10 inches of it, go to Great Clips and donate it.

Why hot and sweaty?

In my previous post, I mentioned my hair was filthy and sweaty. Why, you may (or may not) wonder? Am I not the admitted Queen of I Don't Like Housework?

Well, allow me to explain. I like the show on A&E, "Hoarders". I think it's better than the other hoarder shows. If you've never seen it, they usually pick two really out of control hoarders to profile per show, they bring in mental health professionals, professional organizers, and a cleanup crew with 1-800-GOT-JUNK dumpsters to shovel out the house. The hoarders get after care if they want it to help them deal with their issues. And believe me, these people have issues.

Last night's show profiled this lady in Kokomo, IN, named Vula. I kept thinking "vuvuzela?" Anyway, she was a hoarder of long time standing, is addicted to going to Goodwill and buying yet more crap, plus she had 36 cats in her house. She apparently never put out a catbox, but kept all the cats indoors. They were sick, with goobery eyes, scraggly coats, thin as rails, and there was cat shit and literal garbage over a foot deep all through the house.

The city had told her to clean up the house or they'd evict her and condemn the house. So I guess her sons (one 54, one 44) got in touch with the Hoarders show and asked if they'd profile their mom.

They came out, the lady's crazy as a shithouse mouse, and sits out on the lawn under an awning fighting with her sons, her brother, the psychiatrist, and the cleaning crew who are hauling out biohazard bags -- she wanted to keep what was in the biohazard bags, and they kept telling her she couldn't because they were covered with shit and piss. Turns out under all that crap they finally dug out 13 -- THIRTEEN -- dead cats. The living cats were rounded up by the local animal control, checked out by a vet, and most are being given medical care and should be adoptable. This lady didn't even turn a hair when they brought out 2 dead little newborn kittens -- she just looked at their poor little bodies and said, "Well, it's all [older son's] fault, he just dumped the TV and I couldn't get to them." Never mind the TV was sitting on a mound of trash. That's the way it was through the whole thing, it was always someone else's fault.

They finally got all the shit and garbage scraped up off the floor, cleaned off the counters and stove (YES, she had piles of cat shit ON HER STOVE), drained the tub of this foul brown liquid that I don't even WANT to know what it was, and generally neatened up the place. The city inspector came out, inspected the house, and told her that while it was structurally sound, it was still not habitable because of the stench, and he condemned the house.

She went to live in a women's shelter while her two sons took 6 WEEKS to get her house totally cleaned up and safe for human habitation again. Of course, it won't last, because she doesn't see that she has an issue.

After watching that, with all the poor kitties who had to live in that mess, I got to feeling guilty (even though I'm not that bad a housekeeper, just lax). So first I swept the floor, then I got the long handled duster thing and swept off the fan blades, then swept cobwebs out of corners (where do cobwebs come from, anyway?), then I vacuumed. Mike got out the steamer mop and cleaned the floors.

So now I don't feel like a candidate for Hoarders. And that is why my hair is filthy and sweaty. So is the rest of me, for that matter. I think I'll go take a shower.