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My Christmas Present
12/16/09 06:52 pmRemember last year, my Christmas present to myself was a treadmill? How cool of a present was that? What could possibly top that? Why, maybe... could it be...
That's right!! I GET A NEW PORCELAIN CROWN FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Dental work is just the coolest gift, doncha think?
I was enjoying some spaghetti last night, nice and soft, or so you'd think. Certainly nothing to cause a dental situation (even though the pasta was al dente.... ha ha ha I crack me up)... But right in the middle of a chew I felt an old crown suddenly detach and try to become part of the dining experience. I managed to spit it out before I swallowed (it was close), and stared at the damn thing.
"What's wrong?" asked Mike, around his mouthful of crunchy garlic toast. Patrick looked up with interest as well.
"I just broke off a goddamned crown," I replied. "See?" I displayed it for all to see. "Huh," observed the male two thirds of the household. I put the crown on the side table, and we all went back to stuffing our faces with truly excellent pasta in marinara sauce. (Newman's Own, with just a touch of red pepper added, to make it a tiny bit arrabbiata).
Later on, I tucked it into a ziploc bag so that Certain Tuxedo Kittens wouldn't make off with the crown in the night.
Got up at 7 am to call the dentist for a work-in -- my dentist is open 7 to 5 Monday thru Thursday, so luckily(?) this didn't happen on a Thursday night for a change. I got in right away (they're literally around the corner from my house), and was in a chair by 7:30.
Then the horror began. Turns out this tooth not only lost the crown, it also broke. It's the tooth that endured Operation: Root Canal detailed so lovingly back in 2000 on alt.tasteless, for those keeping score. Can't put the old crown back on. Pulling isn't an option since it's the tooth right behind my left eyetooth, and if it was missing it would not only throw off the entire dental arcade, making everything shift and eventually rot out of my head, it would also make me look like a Waffle House waitress. A bridge would be more expensive than replacing the crown. Didn't ask about an implant... don't even know if he does them.
So to the tune of $1133.00, we are replacing the crown. Today he drilled out some of the gutta-percha to make room for a longer post, which will be attached to the crown instead of sitting in my head with the crown perched atop it. I'll also have a gold band set below the gumline for the crown to be cemented to, since I don't have a lot of tooth left there above the gum.
I now sit here, with a temporary crown on, a funny taste in my mouth, and $1100 poorer. I was cold most of the day, so spent it snuggled up in bed with a blanket, a quilt, and an array of WarmCats™ snuggled up close. I simply must get some dental insurance...
That's right!! I GET A NEW PORCELAIN CROWN FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Dental work is just the coolest gift, doncha think?
I was enjoying some spaghetti last night, nice and soft, or so you'd think. Certainly nothing to cause a dental situation (even though the pasta was al dente.... ha ha ha I crack me up)... But right in the middle of a chew I felt an old crown suddenly detach and try to become part of the dining experience. I managed to spit it out before I swallowed (it was close), and stared at the damn thing.
"What's wrong?" asked Mike, around his mouthful of crunchy garlic toast. Patrick looked up with interest as well.
"I just broke off a goddamned crown," I replied. "See?" I displayed it for all to see. "Huh," observed the male two thirds of the household. I put the crown on the side table, and we all went back to stuffing our faces with truly excellent pasta in marinara sauce. (Newman's Own, with just a touch of red pepper added, to make it a tiny bit arrabbiata).
Later on, I tucked it into a ziploc bag so that Certain Tuxedo Kittens wouldn't make off with the crown in the night.
Got up at 7 am to call the dentist for a work-in -- my dentist is open 7 to 5 Monday thru Thursday, so luckily(?) this didn't happen on a Thursday night for a change. I got in right away (they're literally around the corner from my house), and was in a chair by 7:30.
Then the horror began. Turns out this tooth not only lost the crown, it also broke. It's the tooth that endured Operation: Root Canal detailed so lovingly back in 2000 on alt.tasteless, for those keeping score. Can't put the old crown back on. Pulling isn't an option since it's the tooth right behind my left eyetooth, and if it was missing it would not only throw off the entire dental arcade, making everything shift and eventually rot out of my head, it would also make me look like a Waffle House waitress. A bridge would be more expensive than replacing the crown. Didn't ask about an implant... don't even know if he does them.
So to the tune of $1133.00, we are replacing the crown. Today he drilled out some of the gutta-percha to make room for a longer post, which will be attached to the crown instead of sitting in my head with the crown perched atop it. I'll also have a gold band set below the gumline for the crown to be cemented to, since I don't have a lot of tooth left there above the gum.
I now sit here, with a temporary crown on, a funny taste in my mouth, and $1100 poorer. I was cold most of the day, so spent it snuggled up in bed with a blanket, a quilt, and an array of WarmCats™ snuggled up close. I simply must get some dental insurance...
