More Brownie Issues....

She didn't sleep well last night, she seems to have a tummy ache, but from what, I have no clue. She's chewing and seems to be salivating a bit, but swallowing it. Almost like she's nauseous, but she hasn't vomited or even heaved. She ate well yesterday, ground up turkey. I think she's got a fever, she feels awfully warm.

She's restless, and wants me to rub her stomach, then she kicks my hand away. Sometimes it sounds like she has a big rattly inhale, but there's no obvious wheezing. Hasn't been to the litter box.

I just don't know. I'm calling the vet as soon as they're open, and hopefully they can work us in.

I'm scared for my Boo.... I don't want her to be sick and suffer, but I don't know if I'm ready to let her go... and then there's the expense that has to be weighed, as well as quality of life...

I'm probably jumping the gun and she's just got a minor GI thing going on, but you know me... I'm a worrier and a worst-case sort of person. My glass is always not just half empty, but bone dry...

ETA: Just got back from the vet (they worked her in right after they opened), she's got a GI infection and the nasal discharge is starting up again. The vet did a blood workup on her, liver, glucose, kidneys doing fine. (I was worried about acute kidney failure...) Right now she's having a crunch, just finished a pee. She's on Baytril for 12 days, then a recheck. Have to start the Viralys back up again, we'd stopped giving it.

I swear, I was prepared for it to be something really bad, and I was telling her I loved her and if it was time to go, I'd be brave if she'd be brave. I won't let her suffer, or be selfish and keep her around just to keep from bearing the pain of letting her go. But as long as she has an ounce of fight, I'll be in the trenches with her.

But that's a bridge I haven't come to yet, apparently. And Brownie says "that's right, not BAOW."

Writer's Block: Memo to Myself

[Error: unknown template qotd]I'd tell myself to go on to Emory University and get that Pharm.D. degree, that your future isn't something to throw over for the sake of a boy. Also that I'm clinically depressed and need good drugs. Of course, I don't know what was available for depression in 1977, but I'd tell myself to find out and take it.

My life would be so much different. Don't know if I'd necessarily be happier, but it would be a completely different path, and likely couldn't be worse.