GERD part the Fifth -- Testing
9/30/10 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wobblerlorriToday I went to Emory University for my manometry and Sleuth pH test. It Was NOT Fun.
First of all, I've been off my GERD meds for 10 days, per requirements. I'd been worried because I hadn't had any real symptoms to speak of since I quit taking them, but Tuesday I had some gurgles, and yesterday (Wednesday) I had some real live genuine reflux, so I was relieved.
Last night was horrific, though. I couldn't take any antacids after midnight, and I couldn't eat 6 hours before the test, which was at 11:30 am. So of course the gurgles, urgles and reflux started in earnest at around 12:45 am, and I had to go to bed early so I could have my rye bread and Cheerios. Then I couldn't sleep good, what with the gurgles and urgles and reflux and being dry as a bone (because of course you aren't thirsty until you can't have anything to drink).
So I was up at 8:30 am, got the cats fed, and we got on the road at 8:45 since we had to be there an hour early. Naturally we got there right on time, and of course we just sat around until 11:30. I don't know why we had to be there at 10:30, but there it is.
Went back at 11:30 for the test. Now, for those that haven't had the distinct pleasure, both tests require a catheter to be snaked through your nostril, past your uvula, and down your throat. The difference between the two is the manometry, which measures the strength of your peristaltic contractions, uses a catheter that is roughly half the diameter of a pencil, and goes allllll the way down actually into your stomach, then is retracted to find the lower esophageal sphincter (LES). The pH study uses a catheter that is much thinner, really just a wire with a plastic sheath over the part that lives in your nose.
First you get 10 cc of xylocaine gel shot into your nostril, which you then snork back into your sinuses. You know how it feels when you get chlorinated pool water up your nose? Multiply that by a factor of 5, and you know how 10 cc of xylocaine up your nose feels. Then after a minute or two, you get a mouthful of "Hurricaine" spray, a benzocaine topical. You then tilt your head back, swish it around with your tongue, and swallow it. Burny burny burn, alllll the way down. A minute or two later, you get another mouthful.
Then after a couple of minutes to let that deaden everything, the Insertion Of The Nose Snake is performed. It's lubed up with KY Jelly, and inserted in your nose. You start taking sips of water through a straw, and swallowing as the catheter, which now feels the size of a garden hose, is jammed down your throat. This is on a whole different level of weird.
The nurse had forgotten I'd had gastric bypass when she put the manometry catheter down, and she was trying to get 60 cm down when I had just barely 50 cm, so I had a big gag. She backed off quick, and found the right place.
Then you do some test swallowing to help her find the LES, at which point the actual test begins. You get 10 5 cc shots of warm saline (ick), which you swallow when she tells you. Then you get 10 5 cc shots of "jelly", a gel of some sort which is pretty gross. Finally you're done, and the nurse pulls out the catheter slowly until the end, when she counts to three and SNATCHES it out of your head!
Then you sneeze a lot and blow your nose.
She goes off with the data, then it's time for the Insertion Of The Nose Snake, part two. Again, you're numbed up (but no 'caine spray) (yay), you calibrate the new tiny catheter to your own body's pH by sticking your finger in a pH buffer solution of 4 and one of 7, along with the probe, then she puts the probe in the same way. Since it's smaller and only goes in about 30 cm, you don't have the gag issue. Then you're hooked up to your lovely monitoring device, the tubing is taped to your face and behind your ear, and off you go for 24 hours of monitoring.
You have to eat at least one high-fat meal, so we stopped at Arby's on the way home and I had a regular Arby sandwich, curly fries, and an apple turnover. You have to press buttons on the monitor for when you have symptoms, when you eat, when you don't eat, when you lie down, and when you get up. My three major symptoms are the reflux, heartburn, and globus, the feeling of a golf ball in your throat. I press the appropriate button (1 for reflux, 2 for heartburn, 3 for globus) when I have those symptoms. I press a Diary button if I have some other symptom, like burning in the stomach, lots of burping, vomiting, or something like that...
No antacids while I'm on the monitor, and I have to take the slant pillow off my bed and sleep flat. Wonderful. I can tell it will be another no-sleep night as I have to bolt upright to run the reflux back down my throat....
Not to mention I'm already tired, plus this fuckin' wire is annoying as hell. It makes my nose run, it makes me sneeze, and it makes me have a dull, mini-headache on the right side. I've taken a couple of Sudafed to try to stem the nasal flood, but no joy yet. I have to hold the catheter at the tip of my nose when I swallow food, because it sort of catches on the catheter and pulls in a horrifically uncomfortable manner. The cats have all inspected my wiring and device, no one has tried to eat it yet.
I go back tomorrow to have it all pulled out. I can't wait. Then I have to wait for the doctor to review everything and decide what to do about me.
Here's a picture of me and my new li'l fren'... and notice please my Emo Philips haircut. Don't I look just so thrilled and excited?
First of all, I've been off my GERD meds for 10 days, per requirements. I'd been worried because I hadn't had any real symptoms to speak of since I quit taking them, but Tuesday I had some gurgles, and yesterday (Wednesday) I had some real live genuine reflux, so I was relieved.
Last night was horrific, though. I couldn't take any antacids after midnight, and I couldn't eat 6 hours before the test, which was at 11:30 am. So of course the gurgles, urgles and reflux started in earnest at around 12:45 am, and I had to go to bed early so I could have my rye bread and Cheerios. Then I couldn't sleep good, what with the gurgles and urgles and reflux and being dry as a bone (because of course you aren't thirsty until you can't have anything to drink).
So I was up at 8:30 am, got the cats fed, and we got on the road at 8:45 since we had to be there an hour early. Naturally we got there right on time, and of course we just sat around until 11:30. I don't know why we had to be there at 10:30, but there it is.
Went back at 11:30 for the test. Now, for those that haven't had the distinct pleasure, both tests require a catheter to be snaked through your nostril, past your uvula, and down your throat. The difference between the two is the manometry, which measures the strength of your peristaltic contractions, uses a catheter that is roughly half the diameter of a pencil, and goes allllll the way down actually into your stomach, then is retracted to find the lower esophageal sphincter (LES). The pH study uses a catheter that is much thinner, really just a wire with a plastic sheath over the part that lives in your nose.
First you get 10 cc of xylocaine gel shot into your nostril, which you then snork back into your sinuses. You know how it feels when you get chlorinated pool water up your nose? Multiply that by a factor of 5, and you know how 10 cc of xylocaine up your nose feels. Then after a minute or two, you get a mouthful of "Hurricaine" spray, a benzocaine topical. You then tilt your head back, swish it around with your tongue, and swallow it. Burny burny burn, alllll the way down. A minute or two later, you get another mouthful.
Then after a couple of minutes to let that deaden everything, the Insertion Of The Nose Snake is performed. It's lubed up with KY Jelly, and inserted in your nose. You start taking sips of water through a straw, and swallowing as the catheter, which now feels the size of a garden hose, is jammed down your throat. This is on a whole different level of weird.
The nurse had forgotten I'd had gastric bypass when she put the manometry catheter down, and she was trying to get 60 cm down when I had just barely 50 cm, so I had a big gag. She backed off quick, and found the right place.
Then you do some test swallowing to help her find the LES, at which point the actual test begins. You get 10 5 cc shots of warm saline (ick), which you swallow when she tells you. Then you get 10 5 cc shots of "jelly", a gel of some sort which is pretty gross. Finally you're done, and the nurse pulls out the catheter slowly until the end, when she counts to three and SNATCHES it out of your head!
Then you sneeze a lot and blow your nose.
She goes off with the data, then it's time for the Insertion Of The Nose Snake, part two. Again, you're numbed up (but no 'caine spray) (yay), you calibrate the new tiny catheter to your own body's pH by sticking your finger in a pH buffer solution of 4 and one of 7, along with the probe, then she puts the probe in the same way. Since it's smaller and only goes in about 30 cm, you don't have the gag issue. Then you're hooked up to your lovely monitoring device, the tubing is taped to your face and behind your ear, and off you go for 24 hours of monitoring.
You have to eat at least one high-fat meal, so we stopped at Arby's on the way home and I had a regular Arby sandwich, curly fries, and an apple turnover. You have to press buttons on the monitor for when you have symptoms, when you eat, when you don't eat, when you lie down, and when you get up. My three major symptoms are the reflux, heartburn, and globus, the feeling of a golf ball in your throat. I press the appropriate button (1 for reflux, 2 for heartburn, 3 for globus) when I have those symptoms. I press a Diary button if I have some other symptom, like burning in the stomach, lots of burping, vomiting, or something like that...
No antacids while I'm on the monitor, and I have to take the slant pillow off my bed and sleep flat. Wonderful. I can tell it will be another no-sleep night as I have to bolt upright to run the reflux back down my throat....
Not to mention I'm already tired, plus this fuckin' wire is annoying as hell. It makes my nose run, it makes me sneeze, and it makes me have a dull, mini-headache on the right side. I've taken a couple of Sudafed to try to stem the nasal flood, but no joy yet. I have to hold the catheter at the tip of my nose when I swallow food, because it sort of catches on the catheter and pulls in a horrifically uncomfortable manner. The cats have all inspected my wiring and device, no one has tried to eat it yet.
I go back tomorrow to have it all pulled out. I can't wait. Then I have to wait for the doctor to review everything and decide what to do about me.
Here's a picture of me and my new li'l fren'... and notice please my Emo Philips haircut. Don't I look just so thrilled and excited?
