wobblerlorri (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wobblerlorri) wrote2010-04-13 11:23 pm
wobblerlorri) wrote2010-04-13 11:23 pm
Worry and Rant
My worry is about Mike. He has really bad scoliosis in his upper back, and it has him in pretty bad pain every single day. He sees a pain management doctor, who has him on 10/500 hydrocodone 4 or 5 times a day, and it just does make the pain tolerable. Sometimes he gets trigger point injections in his back, and that makes him feel really good, and he's able to do stuff around the house, which takes a lot of pressure off me, because I do 90% of the yard work, 100% of the gardening, and 90% of the housework -- cleaning and such. Mike handles the finances, 100% of the driving duties, and grocery shopping. We share cooking probably 70/30, with me doing most of it because I don't want to eat spaghetti, chili dogs, hamburgers and fish sticks over and over and over...
Well, in the past few weeks his lower back has been bothering him. From what he was describing (pain in the upper part of his lower back, radiating around to the front and down to his groin in a line) it sounded exactly like a kidney stone, because that's what mine did. So he finally went to the doctor (typical man) after suffering for a month or so. She sent him for x-rays, and turns out he has some narrowing of the disks between L4 and L5 (lumbar vertebrae). So the pain is most likely referred pain from nerve irritation in his lower back.
He also has some "thickening" of his colon on the same side, the right side. He's always had colon issues, mostly constipation from the pain killers.
Tomorrow he's seeing his pain management doctor, who hopefully will give him a trigger point injection for his lower back (and maybe his upper back), can review what he's on, and make some suggestions for treating his lower back issues. More than likely he'll order an MRI to see exactly what is going on in there. Scratch all that, because this afternoon? Found out his pain mgmt doc just up and QUIT last Friday, and the practice called to see if they could move his appt out to next month. I told them that probably wasn't going to be an option, because of the lumbar issue... when Mike got back from the store, he called them, and they're going to try to work him in tomorrow at his original time. I see a looooong and painful wait for him.
The end of the month Mike will have a colonoscopy to see what's up with his colon. Hopefully that's nothing but age-related changes (he's 50 in August) and the result of being on pretty heavy-duty pain meds for 20 years or more...
Now my rant. He won't let me even *try* to drive!! I need to try to get my eye in for driving, because at the very least I'll have to drive him home from the hospital after his colonoscopy (which is almost literally across the street), and it would be nice if I could run to the store for stuff if I need it, instead of having to get him to go. There are also things I'd like to go do, but I have to wait until he feels good enough to drive. I'd love sometimes to just run up to the library, but if Mike's back is bothering him too much, it's not happening. The national Cat Fancier's Assn. cat show was this past January, but I couldn't go because he didn't want to drive that far and Patrick (our son) wasn't interested.
I'm getting so over being dependent on someone else to drive me places. I've told him I want to try around our neighborhood -- it's all quiet streets, not a lot of traffic. He doesn't want to let me try during the week, and when I want to try on the weekend he doesn't feel like it.
I'm wondering if not letting me drive is the one area he feels he still has "control" -- by which I mean he feels like he's The Man Of The House because he's in charge of all transportation. If I start driving, maybe he feels he won't have any purpose at all, even though if it weren't for him I'd be struggling to handle the finances, keep track of appointments, and all the things he *does* do. Part of it, I'm sure, may also be because we're living on my SSD -- he waited too long to qualify for his own SSD (pigheaded being a man) and now he has to wait until he's 65 and get regular Social Security. He worked until 1998, but hasn't worked since then. I kept after him to apply for SSD, but he wouldn't do it. Now he's well and truly disabled, but can't apply.
So there it is. Mike's back is screwed from top to bottom and side to side, there probably isn't anything that can be done about it, I hate to see him in so much pain all the time. We've come to a point where I *need* to be able to drive, but he won't let me try.
Thanks for listening.
Well, in the past few weeks his lower back has been bothering him. From what he was describing (pain in the upper part of his lower back, radiating around to the front and down to his groin in a line) it sounded exactly like a kidney stone, because that's what mine did. So he finally went to the doctor (typical man) after suffering for a month or so. She sent him for x-rays, and turns out he has some narrowing of the disks between L4 and L5 (lumbar vertebrae). So the pain is most likely referred pain from nerve irritation in his lower back.
He also has some "thickening" of his colon on the same side, the right side. He's always had colon issues, mostly constipation from the pain killers.
The end of the month Mike will have a colonoscopy to see what's up with his colon. Hopefully that's nothing but age-related changes (he's 50 in August) and the result of being on pretty heavy-duty pain meds for 20 years or more...
Now my rant. He won't let me even *try* to drive!! I need to try to get my eye in for driving, because at the very least I'll have to drive him home from the hospital after his colonoscopy (which is almost literally across the street), and it would be nice if I could run to the store for stuff if I need it, instead of having to get him to go. There are also things I'd like to go do, but I have to wait until he feels good enough to drive. I'd love sometimes to just run up to the library, but if Mike's back is bothering him too much, it's not happening. The national Cat Fancier's Assn. cat show was this past January, but I couldn't go because he didn't want to drive that far and Patrick (our son) wasn't interested.
I'm getting so over being dependent on someone else to drive me places. I've told him I want to try around our neighborhood -- it's all quiet streets, not a lot of traffic. He doesn't want to let me try during the week, and when I want to try on the weekend he doesn't feel like it.
I'm wondering if not letting me drive is the one area he feels he still has "control" -- by which I mean he feels like he's The Man Of The House because he's in charge of all transportation. If I start driving, maybe he feels he won't have any purpose at all, even though if it weren't for him I'd be struggling to handle the finances, keep track of appointments, and all the things he *does* do. Part of it, I'm sure, may also be because we're living on my SSD -- he waited too long to qualify for his own SSD (pigheaded being a man) and now he has to wait until he's 65 and get regular Social Security. He worked until 1998, but hasn't worked since then. I kept after him to apply for SSD, but he wouldn't do it. Now he's well and truly disabled, but can't apply.
So there it is. Mike's back is screwed from top to bottom and side to side, there probably isn't anything that can be done about it, I hate to see him in so much pain all the time. We've come to a point where I *need* to be able to drive, but he won't let me try.
Thanks for listening.